\u201cBear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you\u201d<\/p>\n
This verse is our focus for this morning as we continue our exploration of this section of Paul\u2019s letter to the Christians living in Colossae. As Nick explained last week, this is an unusual series as we read the same passage week after week, focussing in on a different verse each week, each time with our church value of \u201cLoving each other\u201d in mind. If you want to catch up on what Nick said last week as we focussed on being a chosen people, then you can on Facebook, Youtube and the podcast of the sermon.<\/p>\n
Last week\u2019s verse finished with the word, \u201cpatience\u201d, which leads perfectly into the first idea that we come across in this week\u2019s verse. \u201cBear with each other\u2026.\u201d This is what patience looks like in practice \u2013 it looks like bearing with each other.<\/p>\n
I used to be part of a running club and on our club runs we would have some people who wanted to run further and more quickly than others, so we had different groups who had different routes and different guideline paces. Even then, thought, within each group would be a range of abilities. So, every so often those who were at the front of the group would loop back the way they had come until they were right at the back of the group and then turn round again and run with the group. This way the group stayed together, no-one got left behind and no-one shot off into the distance. We bore with each other.<\/p>\n
We\u2019ve all got our own quirks and oddities, preferences, likes and dislikes. Most of us carry the scars and wounds of life. Many of us live with pressures that others cannot see. All these things can cause friction in a community. Bearing with each other is about allowing each other space, making generous assumptions about each other\u2019s motivations, choosing to think the best about each other.<\/p>\n
This doesn\u2019t mean that bad behaviour should never be challenged. It might the case that \u201churt people hurt people\u201d, and that might help us to have compassion for someone who is lashing out or pushing people away, but it doesn\u2019t mean that person shouldn\u2019t be held accountable for that. It does mean that we approach those conversations with love and a spirit of wanting to help someone carry their burdens \u2013 to help them bear them, rather than with anger and judgement.<\/p>\n
Hopefully as we learn to bear with each other, and to bear one another\u2019s burdens, there will be fewer and fewer grievances, but the reality is that we are all human, get things wrong, and there will be times that we do things that hurt each other, annoy each other, upset each other.<\/p>\n
What are we to do then? <\/p>\n
Firstly, we need to be honest with ourselves about whether a grievance is a \u201cme problem\u201d or a \u201cthem problem\u201d. To take a trivial example sometimes I have a grievance with other members of my family about the way in which the dishwasher is loaded. Suffice to say, I would do it differently. Fundamentally, (don\u2019t tell them I said this) their way of doing it isn\u2019t wrong, they haven\u2019t chosen to do it their way to hurt me, no-one has sinned against me. My grievance is a \u201cme problem\u201d. This links back to where we started \u2013 part of \u201cbearing with each other\u201d is realising when our grievances are a \u201cme problem\u201d and not putting them onto other people.<\/p>\n
If it\u2019s a \u201cme problem\u201d then we might need to do a bit of work to explore where our reaction is coming from \u2013 a past wound or hurt, a sense of pride or privilege, a belief that my way is the best way. We might find it helpful to talk about it with a trusted Christian friend (again part of bearing with each other). Whatever we discover, there is a healing and forgiveness for us, as we bring it to God.<\/p>\n
What then if, having thought and prayed on it, it is truly a \u201cthem problem\u201d? This is where the command to forgive comes in. Here it is shared by Paul, but it is a command of Jesus \u2013 who spoke repeatedly about his command to us to forgive others as we have been forgiven. We heard just one of these times in our reading from Matthew\u2019s eye witness account of the good news of the life and teaching of Jesus. There is no wriggle room here, it is a clear and repeated command to us to be a forgiving people. It is not a suggestion or a recommendation, it is a command that we are directed to obey, to forgive as we have been forgiven.<\/p>\n
So, how has the Lord forgiven us?<\/p>\n
To explore this let\u2019s go to John\u2019s reflection on the cross, shared in his first letter, 1 John 2:2 says,<\/p>\n
\u201cJesus is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world.\u201d<\/p>\n
From this we see that God\u2019s forgiveness flows from Jesus\u2019 sacrifice on the cross \u2013 it was costly and painful. It is also universal \u2013 Jesus\u2019 sacrifice is full and sufficient to cover the sins of everyone. There is a real sense in which every person has ever lived has been forgiven by God for everything they\u2019ve ever done. Not everybody has received that forgiveness, as they haven\u2019t trusted in it, but it is there for them.<\/p>\n
This is really offensive. God\u2019s forgiveness is scandalous.<\/p>\n
Let me explain what I mean. Just think of those stories about Jesus telling people that their sins are forgiven. Usually there are some Pharisees, religious experts, objecting that only God can forgive sins. And we sit there reading it and thinking, \u201cgood old Jesus, forgiving people\u201d and \u201cbad old religious types being all judgy\u201d. But now just imagine that you\u2019re sat there in the crowd, and you\u2019re one of the people that the person being told that they\u2019re forgiven has hurt, has sinned against. Personalise it. Think about the person who has hurt you most. Now imagine watching Jesus tell them they have been forgiven for what they did to you. <\/p>\n
It gets worse. Let\u2019s go to the cross, and Luke\u2019s historical account of Jesus\u2019 death. As Jesus was on the cross he said, \u201cFather, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.\u201d Luke 23:34<\/p>\n
As we read this we realise that Jesus is actively forgiving people who haven\u2019t asked for forgiveness, who haven\u2019t said sorry, who don\u2019t even know that they need to be forgiven.<\/p>\n
So, how does the Lord forgive? With a costly and sacrificial forgiveness that is freely available to everyone, is offered to people who don\u2019t even know they need it, and which includes all the people who have sinned against us. <\/p>\n
This is how we are to forgive \u2013 as we have been forgiven.<\/p>\n
This can be hard \u2013 it is likely to be costly and to take sacrifice. So how are we to do it?<\/p>\n
The first step is to dwell in our own forgiveness. To acknowledge our need of it, and to receive it wholeheartedly. This is one of the reasons that we have the confession as part of our services most weeks. It helps to remind us that we ourselves are not perfect, that we sin, that we need forgiveness and that God has given it to us. This is the foundation upon which we build our forgiveness of others \u2013 that we ourselves need forgiveness and have been forgiven. <\/p>\n
Talking with God, prayer, is important. As Jesus prayed from the cross, we can pray that the person will know God\u2019s forgiveness. Jesus commanded us to pray for our enemies. So we can pray for God\u2019s blessing on them. Sometimes when I have a grievance against somebody I replay conversations with them in my head, or imagine the things I really want to say to them. This doesn\u2019t help me forgive them, it just entrenches my sense of hurt and anger. What if, when I catch myself doing this, I was to instead ask God to bless them. What if I was ask God to help me forgive them. Maybe I don\u2019t want to forgive them. Perhaps my prayer would go something like, \u201cI am really angry with that person, I don\u2019t want to forgive them, but I know I ought to, please help me.\u201d<\/p>\n
As a side note, another thing that can entrench our feelings of grievance can be telling lots of other people about it. Earlier on I suggested that we might want to talk about a feeling of grievance with a trusted friend to help us discern if it\u2019s a \u201cme problem\u201d or a \u201cthem problem\u201d, and there is also a place with getting support when we\u2019ve been hurt, but we have to be really careful about our motivations for this. It is so easy to slip into ways of speaking about each other that will actually create barriers to us moving towards forgiveness. <\/p>\n
None of this is easy. It is where the reality of life in community really bites. It is the practical outworking of loving each other as we have been loved. We cannot do it by ourselves. We need God\u2019s help, and it is part of the work on the Holy Spirit to help us realise our own need for forgiveness, to move into the joy of receiving forgiveness, that releases us into the freedom of being able to bear with and forgive each other.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cBear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you\u201d This verse is our focus for this morning as we continue our exploration of this section of Paul\u2019s letter to the Christians living in Colossae. As Nick explained last week, this is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[431],"tags":[1419,750],"class_list":["post-1190","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-wellington","tag-colossians-312-17","tag-matthew-1821-35"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/carterclan.me.uk\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1190","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/carterclan.me.uk\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/carterclan.me.uk\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carterclan.me.uk\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carterclan.me.uk\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1190"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/carterclan.me.uk\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1190\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1191,"href":"https:\/\/carterclan.me.uk\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1190\/revisions\/1191"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/carterclan.me.uk\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1190"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carterclan.me.uk\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1190"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carterclan.me.uk\/sermons\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1190"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}